Debbie Haley

We just love the Haley family. Miss Debbie and "Miss" Mark taught Lauren's Bible school class and she just took right up with them. They are just so sweet! I was thrilled when Debbie asked me to do a sign for her office door. She requested a butternut background, red lettering, and black scroll work like on a wrought iron gate. I topped it all off with a wide black satin ribbon.

Special K

A "special K" in magenta and lime ordered by the super sweet Caroline Carter as a birthday gift for a friend. This one is so youthful and fun!
Wouldn't it be cool to spell out a whole name or word with letters like this? Hmmm...do I feel a new project coming on?

Flower Garden

With some paintings I spend more time on the designing process than the actual painting, but this one designed itself. That bedding is too cute and the colors go together so well. The only problem I had was choosing which flowers to use. There are tiny polka dots around the outside edge of the canvas that coordinate perfectly with the trim of the bedding. This one truly is a favorite. I can just see it hanging over baby Addison's crib.

Thank you, Mitzi. I hope it makes the perfect gift.

Priorities

Carter made this list during church Sunday morning. I couldn't help but to watch over his shoulder. Sometimes I wonder about that child, and sometimes he goes and makes me proud. He is on my mind right now because he is not with me. He has gone to Philadelphia for the week with my parents. My dad is attending a nursery convention. While he is working, Carter and my mom are going to see all of the sights. He's been away before, so it's not that. I just looked at him the other day and he is getting too big...too fast.

1. God
2. Jesus
3. Mom and Dad
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Sports
7. School
8. Pets
9. Wii
10. Vacation

Corrections And A New Camera

Darlene Bryant ordered these two cuties for some recent graduates. I used bigger dots than usual on a whim, and love how they turned out. The pink and purple really pop against the black and white dotted background.
But...I made a mistake. I hate it when I do that! I don't do it very often, not because I am anywhere near perfect, but because I check my notes over and over again before and during painting. I want to be sure I've got it right. However, mistakes do happen and no one is harder on me than myself. I mixed up the pink and the purple. Yikes! The new corrected canvases are below. Thank you, Darlene, for the order and for being so patient!

In other news, my new camera is ordered and on it's way. I am so excited!

I Need to be Famous by Thursday

I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I am not cut out to be a productive member of society.

I originally intended to become a doctor or medical researcher.  I thought that I wanted to save people, discover things and change the world.  But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I just want to sit on my couch in my underpants all day.

This is why I need you to make me famous by Thursday.  Thursday is the day that I officially graduate from college.  Back in January, I thought I would be ecstatic when this day finally came.  I now realize that graduating is a huge mistake.  I wish I could take it back, but I can't.  At this point I can't even fail.  I am starting to panic.  

It doesn't have to be this way.  

If my blog can become famous and profitable, I will be rescued from the brink of adulthood.   If my blog becomes famous, it is possible that I will never have to wear pants again!  You have no idea how much this would mean to me.  I hate pants. 

Here is what you can do to help:

*Wear a brown ribbon in honor of my cause (nobody has dibs on brown yet, right?)  This will not only help me, but it will raise awareness for terminally adult people all over the world.  

*Run down the street screaming about how awesome my blog is.  Make sure to clearly annunciate the URL (spell it out if you have to.) 

*Hang up a banner outside your door that says "help rescue the author of hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com from impending adulthood." 

*Make flyers to support my cause.  Neon green and yellow would probably be good background colors for the flyers you make.  Just FYI.  

*Take out a phonebook.  Start dialing in the A's somewhere.  Educate the call recipient about my plight.  If they resist, ask them if they ever had a dream.  Use their first name if it is listed.  Try to use their nostalgia and insecurity over their broken dreams to get them on your side.  But don't be inefficient!  If you sense that the person is a heartless bastard who will not change their position no matter how much you plead, move on to the next name.  This is a numbers game and you can't get them all.  

*Call your local radio station.  Dedicate a song to me - preferably "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey.  Once again, make sure to clearly annunciate all syllables in my blog URL.  I cannot stress how important this is.    

That's all you have to do to assure that my future can be spent pants-less and happy!  Is that too much to ask? 

P.S.  I am completely serious about this.  How funny would it be if someone actually did some of these things?  Even if I don't get famous, I would probably be able to live the rest of my life in complete happiness knowing that some person, somewhere did these things in my honor.  

If you take a movie/picture of yourself doing any of these things, I will post it on my soon-to-be super famous blog along with a description of how awesome you are.  

P.P.S.  I wanted to tell you again that I am completely serious, just in case you didn't believe me.  

Stocked Up

I have been working on some stock to have for immediate delivery and for the Autumn Street Fair. I currently have three 11x14 "Boo's" for $30.00 each and two 5x5 "Give Thanks" for $15.00 each available. Please let me know if you would like any of these to get your fall off to a great start! Remember that I also take custom orders if you would like to change to color or wording. Thank you!

A Really Nice Day

Today was a really nice day. Mike had a church meeting and then went to school to work. Carter spent the day at football camp. Lauren and I had the day to ourselves so we got up and went to "Corn Day" at the farmer's market. She ate corn, blueberries, blackberries, orange pound cake, and a sausage biscuit. Needless to say, she had a ball. Everyone was so nice and just kept giving her stuff. I came home with a beautiful bouquet in a Mason jar, cucumbers, tomatoes, a pound of Roller's BBQ, and a loaf of cinnamon sourdough bread. Oh my goodness!

Afterwards, we walked the Greenway and spent a little time on the playground. I have been cleaning and painting all afternoon. I got a Swiffer Wet Jet for the first time. That thing is awesome. It's right up there with the Magic Eraser! Tonight we are meeting Mike's family in Murfreesboro for dinner and then to do some camera shopping.

Does summer have to end?

God's Handwriting

Caroline Carter ordered this special canvas with her gift certificate from this year's Junior Miss pageant. I know it is hard to tell from the pictures (I couldn't find a good angle and you already know about the camera problems), but this one is really beautiful with lots of little touches. It is pale pink with a cream fleur de lis in the background. The lettering is in metallic silver. There is also a pearl glaze over the area with her name and the fleur de lis. Whichever way you turn it, you get a little shine!
My favorite is something new ~ velvet trim. The line dividing the quote for the name is actually a tiny strip of pale pink velvet. She wanted it "vintage, French, and feminine". With this new font, gorgeous colors, and little extras, I think this meets all of those requirements.

If your last name startes with "N", check out the pretty one on this canvas. It would be perfect for a monogram!

Am I Going To Die??

I woke up yesterday morning and became vaguely aware that my right toe felt like - well, the best way to describe it would be "dying-death-kill-maim-destroy-ness."  

This was only slightly more annoying than the fact that it was 6:00 AM on the only day I could sleep in and I could not get back to sleep. I tossed and turned until 6:37 and then decided that going to the ER would be a good idea because I was 96% sure that there was a firemonster in my toe.  

So it was that I found myself competing for medical attention with a burn victim, a dying six-year-old and a man with what appeared to be a dragon-conquering wound.  They were all looking at me like I did not deserve to be there.   

When it was finally my turn to be seen by the doctor, he asked me what was wrong and I had to look him in the face and say "my toe hurts."  

He asked me if I had a blister.   I was a little offended that he had so grossly underestimated my ability to accurately assess pain.  

"It's not a blister," I told him with what I hoped was an icy glare.  

He proceeded to ask me if I had a splinter.     

"It's not a splinter,"  I said in a low, menacing tone.  I wanted to tell him that it was probably a firemonster, but doctors don't like it when you beat them to a diagnosis.  I decided to play it cool.  

The doctor asked me to remove my socks.  Upon seeing my bulbous, throbbing toe, he appeared to take me a little more seriously.  

After asking me about several pleasantly legitimate possible sources of pain, like hammer wounds, rabid spiders and gout, he said "I'm going to order you some antibiotics just in case..."  

As it turns out, I may have an infection in my bone.  This means that I have to take a ludicrous amount of antibiotics every six hours to prevent death.  

My body doesn't seem to understand that the antibiotics are on its side.  So far, it has tried virtually every trick in the book to violently expel the antibiotics from my system.   I've tried to talk to my body about its behavior.  I told it that it was going to die if it didn't learn to get along with the antibiotics.  It didn't seem to care.  It is a stupid, stubborn little body - the kind of body that would die just to prove a point.  

I have since changed my angle.  I am now trying to appeal to my body's competitive side.  I told it that death means failure.  I asked it if it wanted to fail.  It made a gurgling sound which I interpreted to mean "no."  I said "Okay then, if you don't want to fail, I would suggest not dying.  Nobody wins if you die."  

I don't know whether or not I got through to it, but I am encouraged by the fact that my body has yet to follow through on dying.  Though I'd like to give myself credit for convincing my body not to die, the truth is there is another more plausible explanation for my continuing survival:  For all of its stubbornness, my body is also lazy - so lazy that it may forgo dying simply because it is too much work.   

Show Us Your Wedding Dress

I know, I know, I kind of cheated. I am sharing a photo of a photo. I was not really prepared to do this, but I so enjoyed clicking around and looking at everyone else and wanted to participate. I will be ready for next week's challenge of wedding party...you have to see Emily and Ashley!
My dress was a very simple Jessica McClintock raw silk. I wanted plain and simple before plain and simple was cool. Everything in 1997 was heavily beaded. It is a one piece dress, but was made to look like a vest over a full skirt. My veil was a matching raw silk headband with tiny pearls and an elbow length veil attached.
I loved my dress. I walked in and bought it right off the rack at what is now Belk's. It was like it was there just for me. I hope Lauren wants to wear it someday.


If you want to join in the fun, too, go to Kelly's Korner and add your link to her Mr. Linky. While you are there, bounce around and check out some of the others!

Technical Difficulties

This has been a rough two days, technology wise. My lap top is not currently "speaking" to the internet. I have resorted to going upstairs to Carter's room and plugging it in directly to the wall. Kind of defeats the purpose of a lap top!
My camera has also started doing weird things. Any kind of light in the picture washes everything out. There are these grainy little lines that are driving me crazy. I dread the great camera search, but it looks like that is going to have to happen. Any suggestions or tips on which one would be greatly appreciated. Technology is either a blessing or a curse, depending on the day!
Today I am sharing the photos of my side of the office. Mike's side is still under construction. Please take into account the photo quality! You know what's going on there! We painted over a mural on pale yellow walls with a color I love called "streambed". It is kind of a gray/green and is the darkest wall color I've ever used. When I opened the paint can, Lauren looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Why would anyone paint a room that color?" To her, if it is not some varitety of pink or purple, it is not pretty. The color really made the white trim, closets, and plantation blinds show up.
I love being able to paint downstairs and keep an eye on everything. I also LOVE not having to set up and take down on the kitchen table over and over again. I can leave stuff out and close the door. I am also really happy to finally have the wall space to hang my huge paint set and brush. It just killed me to have it sitting in the attic.
Thanks for stopping by today. Now get out and enjoy this beautiful Friday!

Natasha Vaughn

Natasha ordered a family canvas to give as a gift and has another one on the way for herself. She also ordered a business sign for the Smithville Jamboree. I got a little confused. She asked me to look at her blog and match that header. Her website link is listed at the bottom of all of her emails as a part of her signature. Silly me...I clicked on that and went to work. She was so nice when I delivered it that she wasn't even going to tell me. Once we got it all cleared up, I was more than happy to do her another one.

(The top one is the keeper!)

Thank you, Natasha!

Sweet Home Alabama

We decided to take off for a few days on a little family adventure to Alabama. We spent two nights in Huntsville and two in Birmingham. Both cities have some really nice new things to do and places to stay. With us not wanting to spend a lot of money or time in the car, it was perfect.

At the Space and Rocket Center, we did all of the rides and simulators. As you can see, Mike and the kids crammed into one capsule to see what it was really like. The rock climbing wall was also a big hit especially with Lauren. She was actually really good.









































At the McWane Science Center in Birmingham, we had a new family portrait made. Cool, huh?
After dinner at my favorite, the Cheesecake Factory, we let the kids play in the outdoor mall's interactive fountains until waaaayyyy past their bedtime. Ahhh, vacation!














Mike was taking my picture in front of this beautiful fountain and sunset because I desperately need a new photo for the blog. Guess who kept creeping closer and closer? I didn't have the heart to crop her out.

It's Game Time! Vote For the Winner!

I challenged my fellow blogger, Kaloo, to a duel.  The idea is that our readers will vote for which of the following MS paint creatures would win in a battle to the death.  

This week we have Fire-breathing Spiky Unicorn versus Kung Fu Chicken.  

When voting, please take into account each creature's strength, agility, size, intelligence, special powers and basic awesomeness.   

Okay.   The power is in your hands now.   Will it be Kung Fu Chicken or Fire-breathing Spiky Unicorn?  Go!

WARNING: I Am Learning How To Do Computer Stuff. Blog Layout May Change Often.

I am just figuring out all this HTML business, so it is only natural for me to experiment with it.  I am halfway thinking about changing the background every day.   If you are one of those people who is diametrically opposed to change, I am sincerely sorry.  But change means no more mustard yellow and that is a good thing, I think.  Just in case you are still hurt about this, I drew you a picture of a raptor to make you feel better.  <--------------------

Today's background is a picture I took of one of my shirts.  I know it's cool, but don't get too attached to it.  It may be totally different tomorrow.  

I am also learning how to add videos to my blog.   If you think my sense of humor is random in written word, just wait until you see my videos.  

Anyway, if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see on my blog, please let me know.  I am now somewhat competent to oblige your wishes.  

Thing of the Day: Oscillating Fan. Rating: AWESOME

Dear Oscillating Fan, 

I commend you for your selfless efforts at keeping me comfortable.  No matter how hot it is, you patiently sit there and blow air at me without stopping to question the fairness of the situation.  You don't mind staying awake all night and all day, tirelessly blowing air on me.  Even when I trip over your cord, knocking you violently to the floor, you keep on faithfully doing your job.  

Sometimes I forget to unplug you when I leave the house.  You don't ever get upset about this.  You seem to simply assume that I want you to keep blowing on things, even in my absence.  

The other day, I thought it would be fun to see what happened when I stuck a piece of paper in you.  I wanted to see if I could make confetti.  I feel terribly guilty about this.  I don't know why I did it.  I shouldn't have amused myself at your expense.  You saw me coming at you with the paper and did not even flinch.  You trusted me, and I stuck a piece of paper in you and messed up your rotor.  I am sorry.  

When I realized that I had hurt you, I tenderly removed the mangled pieces of paper from your inner workings.  I told you I was sorry and you looked like you understood.  When I put you back together and plugged you in again, you started blowing air on me like nothing had ever happened.  I admire your extraordinary capability to forgive.  You are a good fan.  

I would like to do something nice for you, but I don't know what types of things oscillating fans enjoy.  I have had a couple ideas, but every time I ask you if you would enjoy them, you just shake your head.  I tried to surprise you by cooking you dinner, but you just spit it back in my face.  That was kind of rude, but I suppose I can forgive you because you are such an awesome fan.   

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for being so nice to me.   If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.  

Bright and Cheery

Mike came through the studio and asked, "Is that one for Mrs. Tammy? It looks like her, bright and cheery." So true. I don't know anyone as bright and cheery as Mrs. Tammy. I hope she enjoys these fun paisleys in her new home.

12x24 - $40.00

A New Monogram

For my pickiest customer...me! I needed something for my little table in my little entryway. This one is a smaller 6x9 canvas that fits just perfectly on the wrought iron hanger. It is actually two shades of an odd green, not quite lime and not quite sage. I like it because it has a traditional feel, but is kind of quirky.

6x9 - $20.00

Aqua Dots

Cool polka dots in shades of aqua with perfectly matching ribbon. A special gift from one friend to another. Thank you so much to brand new customer Kim Driver.

Your Favorite Purse

Do you have a favorite Vera Bradley print? Nicole Crouch does! She was looking for something different for her front door that looked great for summer but could be left up all year. She also wanted her family's name. I told her to let me think about it. I saw her at church a few days later carrying this bag. That was it. I absolutely love this color combination. The wide navy satin ribbon just tops it off perfectly.

Disney Magic

Can you guess by the bows I just purchased where we are going this fall? We are over the moon with excitement. We've never done the whole week at the park thing and all of us are really looking forward to it. I am a tad overwhelmed with all of the planning that goes into it. I just don't want to miss anything! We've got the package and the princess dinner booked. Those are the big things anyway!
Click here to see more bows from All Things Girly. I love buying handmade things and telling people about good deals and high quality items. These bows are adorable and so well made. She has lots of different items and takes custom orders. She even has all of the princesses!

Sisters

Andrea Freeze ordered this sweet sister quote for her two girls' shared room. She wanted it to match ones that I did with their names a while back. Click here to see them. I love this quote and the fuschia and lime together are just perfect.

11x14 - $30.00

Scarlet Fever

It seems that I have been using a lot of red lately. Shades of red are difficult to work with. I call red the "diva" of colors. Is it weird that I have a personality created for all of the colors?
Anyway, it is hard to paint over red. If you make a mistake with red, it is near impossible to cover. On the other hand, red is sheer. Whatever you want to paint over with red shows through even after several coats.

With all of that being said, and I am sure you all wanted a lesson on the intricacies of red, it has a richness and timelessness that is surpassed by none other. People will always love red.

Thank you to Paula, Kim, and Natasha, the "divas" who ordered these three beautifully red canvases!

Technorati Claim

TJ3VMN5RS9YE

Fall Preview

Mileah Knowles ordered a 5x5 pumpkin during the recent sale and it got me all fired up about fall. That is my absolute favorite time of the year and my favorite theme for painting. I do have to start now to keep up with orders and be ready for the Autumn Street Fair on October 3rd. I know that seems far away, but it be here before I turn around!

I took the same pumpkin and font from Mileah's and used it on a 4x12 and an 8x24. I haven't added ribbons or beads to these yet, but I already love them! That small one would be gorgeous in a fall wreath.

This is my first using my new Halloween ideas. The outside is purple on purple polka dots and the inside is black on black spiderweb. There are small orange dots in the white border. I have some really cute polka dotted and gingham ribbons ready! This one hasn't had the pencil line erased or sealed, but I couldn't wait to share it!