A Perfect Match

Here is the finished product.

Here is the inspiration.

Here are the two together. It is hard to tell where one ends and the other begins...the true sign of a perfect match.

How to Make Showering Awesome Again

Here at Sueeve, we understand that showering can be one of the most boring, shame and confusion-filled parts of your day and we've made it our mission to fix that!  

-- If the mere sight of a loofah sends you into a gender-confusion-driven, psychotic rage, you need the Shower Hammer!

You no longer have to endure the fluffy, girly bullshit of loofahs.  Fuck loofahs.  The Shower Hammer makes you clean with violence!  

-- Another common problem faced by men the world over is that of smelling like something that isn't awesome enough.  We all know that coconut smells great, but have you ever seen a coconut burst into flames from sheer excellence?  No, you haven't.  That's why we've created the most comprehensive collection of badass aromas ever. 

-- If you are driven to psychological meltdown by the sheer variety of hygiene products available to you, you may want to consider our brand new nine-in-one shower companion!  It not only cleans you, conditions you and helps your razor glide smoothly over your face, it also keeps you company, provides a ready source of nutrients should you be stranded in the shower for any length of time and calms your nerves with a homeopathic antidepressant.  It's basically everything you will ever need in one bottle.  

-- Does your razor resemble some sort of contraption from the dark ages?  Do you feel shame and anger every time you try to shave with such primitive technology?  Do you feel that the number of blades on your current razor is entirely inadequate?  Well, guess what?  

LIGHTSPEED 3000!!! The fastest razor with the most blades ever! 

-- If you've ever wished that your showers were more reminiscent of caged death-matches, then you might be interested in our Gladiator Genie Soap!  Gladiator Genie Soap works just like regular soap, but it contains an evil spirit that will attack you mercilessly as soon as it is summoned

When you begin lathering up, the friction you create will summon the genie contained within the soap.  The genie will attempt to crush you with its teeth and/or defeat you with magic.  If you want to survive, you must fight the genie to the death.  

So if you want to turn your showers from a chore into a multi-sensory, life-or-death adventure, be sure to check out Sueeve products at your local grocery

Buzz! Buzz!

Brooke Bauer is finishing up her student teaching at Black Fox Elementary in Murfreesboro. She ordered the flag canvas that was previously posted and this super cute bee canvas for the teachers she has been working with.

Mrs. Bargatze has a bee theme in her classroom. This should fit in perfectly! You can barely see it, but there are black and yellow polka dots around the outside.

Please Knock...

...baby is sleeping. I love these sweet little 5x5 signs for the baby nursery. Sleeping babies are just the most peaceful things ever.

This one is also off to Miss Natalie in Chattanooga. I crossed paths with Natalie on Barter Boutique. If you've never been there, you need to check it out. It's a place for those you make things and love to trade. You all know that I love a good trade! Natalie is sending me some surprise jewelry. I can't wait!

Flowers

I am so happy to share a new spring flower design with you all today. I wanted something bright and cheerful that would really stand out on any front door. The colors are so pretty and I love the flower designs, especially that rose!

I have a few other versions of the same design that will be available on the blog and at Et Cetera soon. This one is off to Natalie Jane (who has the cutest blog ever!) in Chattanooga, Tennessee, as a surprise. Wouldn't you love to open your mailbox and find this?

As always, I am taking custom orders. There are so many things coming up...teacher gifts, graduation gifts, and Mother's Day!

Red, White, and Blue

These two red, white, and blue teacher canvases are just too cute. They're both different, but special in their own way. The flag is in cream, navy, and burgundy. I was going for a more traditional, vintage look.

The polka dots are a little more funky and fun. This one is white, royal blue, and a true red. I also chose the dotted font. Mrs. Potter is a big Pioneers fan, so I added the little "Go Pioneers!" in the corner.

Thank you, Tiffany and Brooke, for your teacher gift orders!

Show Us Your Life - How You Met Your Husband

Today the Show Us Your Life Series from Kelly's Korner is about how you met your husband. I can't wait to "blog hop" and read all of the stories. We meet our soulmates in the most unexpected of places and times.

Mike and I grew up in the same hometown, but never knew each other. Hard to believe in a small town like this! We are 61/2 years apart in age, so let's just say we ran in different circles.

It wasn't until he came to Irving College Elementary as a teacher that we even heard of each other. I chaperoned my sister's eighth grade trip to Gatlinburg - last minute and unexpected - and that is how we met. Now I look back and know that God knew what he was doing.

I was in college in Murfreesboro at the time. We started talking on the phone and had some very nice dates, but most of our time was spent apart. Things started slowly, but that's what wins the race.

Aren't we a couple of good looking kids? It is funny for me to look at Carter now and picture him as a husband and father. I know that it is my job to prepare him for that, it's just hard to see sometimes.

Oh my, we look like babies!


Now we have our two babies. We are so blessed to have found each other and made this wonderful life that we have. I often forget to be thankful just for the day to day routine.

Thanks for stopping by today! I hope you enjoyed the peek into my life. Come back anytime!

Thoughtful Gifts

I don't have too many men who place canvas orders. When they do, they sure make the women in their lives happy! I've got a new customer in Kent Barnard. He is finishing up a teaching practicum and ordered the classroom teacher one with her name on it. He chose the apple and primary colors and I added the gingham ribbon - perfect for kindergarten!

Kent also went ahead and ordered one for his fiancee, who is also a teacher, just because. Those are the best kind of gifts, don't you think?

A Unique Request

Miss McKenna Rhea is getting ready to graduate from MTSU and wanted a gift for a special professor. They are both fans of those silly bunnies you see around everywhere. They are pretty cute! I love what she chose for the wording. Can't you just see this on a college professor's office door?

None of this is the unusual part...

I've never, ever, ever had a request to do a DNA border before! She was even kind enough to send me a visual for what DNA looked like. McKenna says that her professor is a "science geek" like her.

Well, I think you're an awesome science geek - I like geeks - and will someday be an awesome orthodontist. I so admire the hard work and dedication that goes into becoming a doctor. Way to go, McKenna!

I'm Definitely Not Dead

I woke up really early on Wednesday morning for no reason.  In retrospect, I can see it was probably my body's way of telling me that I might die later that day, so I better get the hell up and start enjoying the shit out of life.

My life that morning was not particularly enjoyable.  I felt like my internal organs had been punched by someone who is really enthusiastic about punching and therefore punches a lot.  In fact, they love punching so much that when they finished punching my internal organs, they moved on to punching my skin and all my muscles and also my eyes.

I don't own an accurate thermometer, but I once calibrated the thermometer I own using an accurate thermometer.

The thermometer read 102.3, so by my calculations, I was running a fever of about 103.5.  I took a couple aspirin and tried to get some work done.  That's when I wrote/illustrated this post.  I may have also responded to a few emails.  If you got an email from me last Wednesday that didn't make a lot of sense, I apologize.  I wasn't drunk.  I was just very ill.  

I eventually gave up on trying to be responsible and just sat on the couch staring off into space really intensely. 

That evening, my friend called to ask me if I'd like to meet her and another friend for drinks.  I didn't feel much like drinking, but I was feeling a little better and I'm almost tragically impulsive, so I was like "heck yeah I'll meet you guys for drinks!" Then I staggered into the bathroom to try and clean myself up enough to go out in public.  

At the bar, I ordered tea because I was really, really cold and even though I'm impulsive and irresponsible, I know enough not to complicate illnesses with alcohol.  The bartender looked at me like I was the first person ever to order raspberry tea in a bar.  

I was able to enjoy my tea for approximately five minutes before I started to feel emergency-nauseous and had to run to the bathroom. The next little bit is kind of a blur for me. I know that I passed out in the bathroom. I don't know how long I was out, but my first thought upon waking was "OH MY GOD I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!"

I knew I should probably go to the hospital, but I'm still too poor for insurance, so I tried to convince myself that I was okay and I should just crawl home and sleep it off.  I tried to stand up, but I ended up head-butting the wall and crumpling to the floor again.  I lay there on the ground staring at some graffiti that just said "poop poop poop poop poop."  I started wondering whether that would be the last thing I ever saw.  It was a depressing thought for a few reasons.  

After several more unsuccessful attempts at getting to my feet, I finally made it.  I used this as an excuse to not go to the hospital.  "Hey, look at me!" I thought.  "I'm doing great!  

I staggered out of the bathroom and toward my friends.  I remember my limbs making all sorts of spastic movements as I tried to glide along and look like nothing was wrong.  I ran into the wall and ricocheted off into the other wall.   It felt like I was competing against my need to go to the hospital:  if I could stay upright, it meant I was fine and goddamn it, I was not about to lose that game and give up the entirety my newfound income just to make sure I wasn't dying.  

I finally made it back to the bar and collapsed onto it.  That's when I lost the game and decided to go to the hospital because I was legitimately scared of dying.  That's also where things get hazy again.  I remember the next 20 minutes in little clips.  There's me lying face down in a puddle on the bar, blowing little bubbles in it while trying to breathe.  Then I'm being carried out of the bar.  Then I'm being driven to the hospital.  I was breathing really fast; I remember that because once we got to the hospital, the intake nurse kept yelling at me to slow down my breathing and I couldn't.  My entire body was shaking convulsively and I felt more cold than I have ever felt in my life.  My blood pressure was 70/35.  When I caught a glimpse of those little numbers on the screen, I immediately regretted ever knowing anything about medicine because my knowledge only contributed to making me feel positive that I was going to die.  "Well," I thought, "this is it.  My last words are going to be 'fuck you, I can't breathe any slower!'"  It was all very dramatic.  

 

As is often the case with medical emergencies, it was not immediately apparent what was wrong with me, so the doctor called for tests. Lots and lots of tests.  

Blood samples are easy because they are passive.  You just lie there and let the nurses stick needles in you until they are done.  But urine tests require your active participation.  When you are in the throes of death like I was, providing a urine specimen is a veritable quest.  I could have rewritten The Iliad about my experience peeing into a cup.  

I was still having a lot of trouble maintaining consciousness, so the doctor had to supervise me in the restroom.   

I knew I had reached a pretty low point in my life.  There I was, halfway unconscious on a toilet; trying my hardest to pee into a tiny plastic cup and not on my own hand or the floor.  It sounds like a very simple goal to accomplish, but it isn't. I was crying quietly and drooling on myself.  I didn't even care that a stranger was standing there watching the whole pathetic situation. In that moment, I had no dignity.

Despite my herculean efforts, the urine test didn't tell them anything.  The blood test showed a slightly high white blood cell count, but other than that, it was normal.  The only thing that even hinted at what could be wrong with me was my heart.  After looking at my EKG, the doctor was like "Your heart is being weird." And I was like "Why is it doing that?"  And the doctor was all "I don't know."  

Four hours later, I wasn't dead and the doctors still couldn't figure out what was going on, so they sent me home.    

As I'm sure is the case with many of you, I walk that thin line between hypochondriac and a normal level of concern about my health.  So when I go through a terrifying medical saga only to come out the other side with a tentative diagnosis of "weird heart," I panic a little.  

The past week has basically just been a string of moments in which I feel almost positive that I'm going to die.  

I still don't know what is wrong with me, but I'm definitely not dead and I'm feeling a lot better, so that's good.  

Choo Choo!

New customer Danielle Hendrickson wanted some brightly colored trains for her son's room. She had this super cute quilt that she wanted matched. I love all of the different patterns on the fabric pieces. With this rainbow of colors, these two were so fun to paint!

Both of these are 16x20. They will look so good hanging together in his train themed bedroom. Thank you so much, Danielle!

Sweet Baby Girl

I love these flowers for a sweet baby girl on the way! They were custom designed to match her bedding. Her bedding also features "minky dot" fabric. This border includes a texture to mirror that fabric. This is the first time I've tried it and it turned out really cute.

Those flowers and colors paired with a cute font and rich chocolate brown satin ribbon is just too adorable! Thank you, Holly, for the order!

Show Us Your Life - Teacher Gifts

If you are needing a custom teacher gift, this is the place! I just rounded up a bunch of my past faves to show the variety that is possible. As you can see, any colors and designs are available to truly match your teacher's personality. There are also several size options to fit any budget.

I am participating in Kelly's Korner Show Us Your Life Series today. Welcome all you new visitors! Please leave me a comment to let me know that you were here and I will do the same for you. You are also more than welcome to email me with questions.

It usually takes about two weeks to complete an order. Please allow time for shipping if you are not local. Get those end of the year orders in now!